TheClique

I woke up 07:30 AM today, dragging my feet behind me on the way to the church. The father of a good friend to our family recently passed away. We knew the father too, not as well, but still good enough to feel something more than the usual 'I'm sorry for your loss'. When the mass started, and people started crying, I had a hard time holding back my own tears - I somehow managed not too, because I sang alone with my father, a lot of songs on my own, and if I'd cried, I would've ruined it.. a lot. The songs kind of ruined it anyway, because they were really sad and well... funeral-related. Of course, that's way better than singing happy songs, but still. It adds to the crying. I felt so damn helpless when I saw their sorrow - it was all so exposed, they looked so vulnerable... And such anguish.. and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Nothing. I couldn't help. There was nothing to do but to cry with them and for them. And sing and pray for the deceased. Yep, I am a christian. Not trying to push my faith on you guys, if you don't believe. I just really hope that they're doing well up there. I live for them. Yes, that is one of the reasons I live. A big reason, actually. I know the pain that all those people felt today - I've felt it too, and I know it far too well. I've lost people. And they won't breathe again, they won't walk this earth anymore. Their hearts won't ever beat again. But that is why I must do it, and enjoy every second of it - I must do it five times as much, so I live for them too. So everyone who has lost somebody, or when you do - because you will, you can't flee death - don't go into a depression. It's okay to mourn, but don't forget to live. Don't think that ''it's not worth living anymore''. Because you have to make it worth. And you have to make your loved ones proud, whether they're dead or alive.